Dealing with Miscarriage | Men and Miscarriage
Like most women who suffer a pregnancy loss, Amy Lawson of Wake Forest, N.C., was devastated by her miscarriage. As many women also notice, her husband did not seem to react the same way to the loss. “I did not want to do anything but sleep and play solitaire on the computer,” she says. “I felt like I just went through the motions for many months. My husband had no reaction. He just said ‘sorry.'”
Lawson’s experience is far from unusual for couples facing the aftermath of a pregnancy loss. When speaking of miscarriage, the old, tired saying that “men are from Mars; women are from Venus” holds true as ever. While women often struggle emotionally following a loss, men usually have an easier time dealing with the situation.
Men do have strong feelings about a loss but handle it in ways that women do not initially understand.
Moving on After Loss
Kristen Swanson, RN, Ph.D., FAAN, professor and department chair of Family and Child Nursing at the University of Washington, says this is a very common situation for couples to face. The man tends to move on faster than the woman, and as a result, “she will start to judge him as kind of cold and callous, and he will judge her as carrying on a little too much when it’s time to move on,” Swanson says. Because of this, many couples experience friction in their relationships following a loss.
According to Swanson, the difference originates in that a loss is rarely as real for a man as for a woman. Typically, a woman experiences a physical and very real sense of loss, but the man may not connect to the baby the same way. “Seventy-five percent of women who miscarry would tell you they lost a baby,” she says. “Many times, for men, the baby isn’t real until you can see it or hold it.”
Our body structure is extremely complex. Each mechanism from ovulation, through fertilization, cleavage and embryo implantation, must be just right. If any of them fails, it is likely that pregnancy will be unsuccessful. Learn the early signs of a miscarriage and proceed accordingly.
How will a woman know if she has had a miscarriage?
There are some symptoms that are often related to miscarriage. Some of the most common are:
- Spotting: Usually the main symptom of spontaneous abortion is bleeding or vaginal bleeding. However, we must take into account that many women experience spotting and not always due to a threatened abortion.
- Blood loss may be due to the occurrence of intrauterine hematoma, one of the most common causes of bleeding in the first quarter, or implantation bleeding, a slight discoloration or dark pink that occurs when the embryo implants in the womb. Vaginal bleeding can also be symptoms of ectopic pregnancy, a class of spontaneous abortion. It is a pregnancy that occurs outside the uterus, which of course fails. It may have vaginal discharge brown or light bleeding for several days or weeks before the pain, but these losses will not if there is no rupture of the tube. The pains are very intense, with extreme sensitivity, especially in one of the sides in the lower abdomen.
- Another variant of natural or spontaneous abortion is an empty egg. It is the product of a fertilized egg, which is implanted in the uterus; it develops normally, but there is no embryo. Of course, pregnancy is unsuccessful and bleeding occurs.
Intermittent spotting, or brownish vaginal bleeding, can be a symptom of molar pregnancy, another variant of natural abortion, resulting from abnormal fertilization of the egg that produces a deformed growth of the placenta. Therefore, intermittent blood loss is one of the signals of a miscarriage.
It should be considered as an alarm signal if the blood loss has one of the following traits:
- If bleeding is stronger than vaginal bleeding typical of a normal period.
- If vaginal bleeding exceeds a thick pad, or a pad within an hour.
- If bleeding is accompanied by clots.
Bleeding is not always accompanied by pain. In general, bleeding occurs first and then get a severe abdominal pain. However, there are times when cramping without bleeding may occur, as in case of ectopic pregnancy. Abdominal pain may be in the form of constant or intermittent cramping in the form of cramps. It is in general a pain in the lower back, similar to the pain of menstruation but a lot stronger.
Some abortions are detected on routine prenatal care, without having shown any signs of a miscarriage, yet. In case of missed abortion or fetal death occurs held weeks before symptoms such as bleeding or cramping. With ultrasound, the doctor may perform a vaginal examination to determine if the cervix is dilated, a sign that can lead to a miscarriage.
Disappearance of Symptoms of Pregnancy
One of the signs that may indicate Interrupted pregnancy is not persistent symptoms of pregnancy. As a final hint, in case of threatened abortion, perform a blood test to determine levels of beta HCG quantitatively.